Most people think of influence as a skill — something you deploy when you have a goal. And sure, there's something to that. But there's another kind of influence that's already happening, whether you're paying attention to it or not.
In the video, I walk through two very different ways this shows up in real life.
The first one involves a chain of conversations between me and a few colleagues. This is a true story, but I've changed the names to Fred, Jim, and Elaine. No grand strategy. Just people mentioning useful things to each other. By the end of it, Fred had influenced Elaine through me, and Fred and Elaine have never met. I have no idea how far those ripples actually went.
The second one involves a submarine — and my wife laughing at me in a parking lot.
Navy submarine officers pick up something through experience that doesn't get taught explicitly: make a decision fast and project total confidence in it. That habit runs so deep you stop noticing it. Which is fine, until you're striding confidently toward a car you cannot actually locate.
But the underlying principle matters. Emotions ripple out. A calm and confident officer steadies the crew. An indecisive or agitated one can throw them off balance — with potentially fatal consequences. And it doesn't stop at submarines.
If you're on a team, your attitude and mood spread to the people around you. They carry it to their next team, their family, their friends. Your influence doesn't stay contained.
The question worth sitting with:
Is what you're putting into the system likely to prove valuable — to yourself and others?
If you're interested in diving deeper into how influence travels through a network, see: