The question I wasn't asking before networking events

Thoughts From the Corner


Hello Reader,

I once left a professional mixer without having a real conversation with a single person.

Not because the room was unfriendly. Because I had no anchor. I knew what I wanted to get out of the event. I hadn't spent one minute thinking about what I was bringing into it.

That's a small difference that turns out to matter a lot. When you don't know what you're offering, every approach feels like an extraction. You can feel it yourself — the slight sense that you're about to ask someone for something. And that feeling stops you before you start. It reads as anxiety or shyness or just not being good at networking. But a lot of the time it's simpler than that: you walked in empty-handed.

This isn't about having an elevator pitch or a polished value statement. It's about a two-minute exercise before you walk through the door. Three questions, one sentence each: What do I know that this group might not? Who do I know who might be useful to someone here? What specific help could I actually use if someone offered?

In a new video this week, I walk through what happens when you skip this, what happens when you don't, and the realization it took me way too long to have about what I specifically brought to a room that others didn't. That last part is worth hearing if you've spent most of your career surrounded by people who do what you do.

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Hit reply and tell me what you think you bring that most people in your professional circles don't see.

Was this helpful? Any requests? I’d love to hear from you! I read all emails personally.

Until next time!

—Chris


I appreciate the DIY mindset, which is why I offer so much content for free. If need to accelerate your growth, or want personalized assistance, I have a limited number of one-on-one coaching spots available.


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Chris In Your Corner

I spent most of my career in environments where technical excellence was table stakes — nuclear submarines, cybersecurity, software engineering, management. What I kept noticing was that the people who stalled weren't the ones who couldn't do the work. They were the ones who couldn't navigate the people around the work. That pattern eventually drove me to this work. If you're a technical professional hitting a ceiling you didn't expect — not a skills ceiling, but a people one — you probably know what I mean. Your work is solid but it's not landing. Influence feels like a foreign language. You got into this field partly to avoid the politics, and now the politics are everywhere. I'm not going to tell you to become someone you're not. I didn't. But I did change how I show up. Now I often work outside my comfort zone. It's more rewarding than anything I was doing before. If that sounds like where you want to be, you're in the right place.